The Philosopher

Description We Lived Separate Lives
We Were Living Like Roommates
The Real Reason You Haven't Found Your Perfect Partner
Why Aren't You Married? Facing Your Love Alibi
Ever Have A False Positive In Dating?
When Love Manifestation Turns Into Mani-Frustration
Are You Discounting Yourself In Love?
Ordering Love Like A Latte
Looking For A Quick Fix For Your Love Life?
Impatient for Mr. Right?

Over the coming weeks, The Philosopher would text message me randomly before disappearing again. Mostly the conversations degraded quickly into some kind of sexy talk and I would try to redirect, deflect, or just terminate the conversation all together. It was clear what the Philosopher wanted and it definitely wasn’t more than a roll in the hay. He spent much time trying to convince me our next date should be at my place, in front of my fireplace. I knew that was badly disguised code for “I’m not going out with you again unless you give up the goods.” I agreed to nothing.

He came back in town about a month after that first date. I had had my limit of the sexy talk and the blatant goal setting he was attempting to do. I bluntly asked him why he was so determined. He bluntly answered why not. I rather bluntly told him it wasn’t ever going to happen. Alas, this story would not be so long if I’d stuck to my guns.

What The Philosopher didn’t know is that I was pretty raw and vulnerable in those moments, due to other things going on in my life. There was lots of upheaval and I was rapidly reaching ground zero in the stress department. That night I told him how cryptic and weird he was. He told me how evasive I can be. And I don’t even remember what crack I made that did it, but he took it out of text messages and called me up. It was a fascinating conversation, but in the end, he did not get an invite to my place.

Around 11:30 that night, I needed a Phillips head screwdriver. It was actually a screwdriver emergency, if you can imagine such a thing. It was too late to ask the neighbors for help, and I could only find flat head screwdrivers at the time. I tried to get the job done with those to no avail. I was stressed, I was tired, and I was at my breaking point. I texted The Philosopher and told him if he could produce the needed screwdriver and give me a back massage, he could come over. He was in my house in under an hour.

He did indeed have the screwdriver and proceeded to handle my crisis as well as I looked on. He also came through with the lamest backrub I have ever received, but at that point I was just grateful to be taken care of at all. Of course, the backrub moved into the bedroom (to allow him to do a better job, you see) and then clothing started coming off. Yep, we did the deed.

And it was BAD. I mean just…… bad. He did not do anything that would allow me to get what I needed from the experience. He got all sweaty and started to stink. And inexplicably he kept shoving his thumb in my mouth. After he got his, it was quite late and he decided to spend the night. I was surprised, but gave him back a few points for that. As we all know, spending the night scores big with me.

The next morning he woke up feeling as all men do when they wake up. And since I was there, we had a repeat performance. I imagined maybe it would be better. It was not. This time not only did I not get anything, but neither did he. He seemed satisfied with that and rolled away to head to the bathroom. I got up to look for clothing. That’s when it happened.

The condom had broken. This might be a crisis under different circumstances, but there are two important things to note here. One is that he didn’t finish. Two is that I am on birth control. There was literally next to no chance of any danger from this. I went down the hall to root around in a closet and heard him call from the bathroom “How do you feel about abortion?”

Now, it was early. I was tired and unhappy with my experience with him. And as we already covered, The Philosopher frequently asks such questions out of the blue without reason. So, without thinking twice, I answered honestly. (For the record? I believe in a woman’s right to choose, but I’m pretty sure I would exercise that right by not getting one.) This was not the correct answer. What followed was a large scale panic attack on his part. I repeatedly explained all of the variables working in his favor. I told him over and over that I simply wasn’t pregnant. I swore on whatever I thought would matter to him. Finally I simply promised I would let him make the decision if there were one to make and shoved him out the door.

He text messaged several times in the coming week or so. All concerns about my impossible pregnancy. I told him when my girly time was due and promised to alert him as soon as there was definitive proof of my lack of baby. Finally, in a last ditch effort to shut him up, I texted him with “I promise to abort your hypothetical baby!” He fell silent at last. And true to my word, when the monthly visitor arrived, I let him know immediately. He thanked me and disappeared.

Since then, he has called every single time he comes into town. I have not seen him since that morning when I shooed him out of my house. I have told him I’m busy. I have told him his booty calls are transparent. (which, by the way, led to him calling me inexplicably on his way to IOWA to prove he was not doing exactly what he was in fact doing.) I have told him I have no time for him. I have even flat out ignored text messages and voicemails. Still, he calls. He called this week. I did not answer. I never will.

Hopefully, that is the end of this story. If not, next time I will tell him the sex was bad and I’m never going to sleep with him again. Hopefully that will be sufficient damage to his ego to make him disappear.

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Début de l'événement 15.04.2023

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]]> Tue, 15 Apr 2025 15:43:41 +0000 Happy Monday

Happy Monday

Description There’s No Such Thing as a “Good” or “Bad” Marriage
A Married Man Needs Only 3 Things From His Wife
I Am Not The Caretaker of My Marriage
10 Guilty Pleasures For Couples
The Man Behind How I Have It All
14 Ways Having Kids Affects Your Relationship
Love Rewards the Brave
The Book That Changed the Way I Look at Love
When Divorce Runs in the Family
The Silence That Can Save Your Relationship
Is It Ever OK to Lie to Your Spouse?

I’m happy to say… I think TC and I are back in the Good Place!

I had an intimate little cocktail party last night with TC and a dozen of my dearest friends (both guys and girls). He had met a few of them before, so I wasn’t completely throwing him into the (friendly!) fire.

I was in a bit of a tizzy as I flitted about pouring drinks, prepping food, greeting new people. TC is the perfect party guest – he has no problem chatting with new people, while checking in with me every so often and helping out. When I saw that he was washing dishes at one point (unasked)… well, I couldn’t help but fall in “like” with him just a little bit more.

We didn’t have a chance to have much alone time, but that should come in the next few days. It was no surprise that my friends thought he was a lovely guy – he liked them as well.

As is often the case with these parties, it was a blur, and I felt that I didn’t have a chance to talk to each person as much as I’d like. However, it was a (re)confirmation that I’m very lucky have a group of fabulous friends – who (thankfully!) like my cooking.

As for TC – I can’t help but think that he wouldn’t have spent a whole evening with my friends if he didn’t see “us” continuing. For now, I’m OK with letting my doubts of the past week go by the wayside. Here’s hoping…!

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Début de l'événement 10.04.2022

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]]> Thu, 10 Apr 2025 15:23:44 +0000 Smiley, Quentin and Flirt

Smiley, Quentin and Flirt

Description My Dead First Husband Is Haunting My Marriage
My Husband Is Ashamed of Me
My Husband Barely Talks to Me Anymore — So I Cheated on Him
My Husband Is a Big Bore
My Husband is a Compulsive Gambler
My Husband Is Depressed
When Your Boyfriend Flirts Too Much
When "Taking It Slow" Feels Like a Red Flag
The Ethics Of Breaking Up With A Sick Partner
State of the Relationship Union
Widowed and Dating: Navigating Sympathy and Honesty
Love vs. Security: Can You Build a Future Without That ‘Spark’?
What Really Counts as Cheating?
Polyamory Dating or Just Playing?

When I last wrote, I mentioned that I'd been out twice with someone as-yet-unnamed. I'm at a loss for a really creative blog name for him, so let's just call him Smiley. It's appropriate - he has a lovely smile that he flashes often. Suffice to say, I like this guy. He's smart and thoughtful, and we just seem to fit well together.

In the past three weeks, we've hung out quite a lot. We've been to parties together, we've cooked, we've become Facebook friends, we've smooched, etc. It was starting to feel a bit relationship-y, but I had to keep reminding myself: it's only been a few weeks. Seven (or eight?) dates does not a boyfriend make.

To try to keep the crazy at a manageable level, I thought it best to still see other guys. I had a date with a guy I'll call Quentin (#149) - he bears a strong resemblance to Tarantino (just a little better-looking). I was very much in a "Smiley" mindset when I met him, and while I thought he was a cool guy, I didn't exactly emit strong liking vibes his way. Regardless, he emailed the next day that he'd had a nice time, and we should hang out again soon.

I know myself -- I tend to get a bit too emotionally invested in a new guy too soon. I'm mindful of that, and have been doing my best to keep that in check with Smiley. With that in mind, I wrote back to Quentin: yes, let's plan another date soon. (second date is planned for later this week). However, I felt that I was just going through the motions, that this was something I "should" do, rather than something I was excited about doing.

And well -- I'm glad that my brain took the lead for once, rather than my heart. Smiley and I had a talk a few days ago (we'd had quite a bit of wine, so the details are fuzzy) -- it wasn't set up as "the talk", but we did cover some important ground: namely, that since he's in between jobs right now, he feels that he needs to get his life in order before he can really think about a relationship.

I'd had a feeling this might be the case, having been in similar situations before (see: Teen Crush, two years ago -- and there have been others). It's actually kind of a relief to know where we stand -- I feel that I can go on other dates with a clear conscience now. Before the talk, I had felt, by default, that we were on a relationship track – now, this actually makes me take a step back and assume nothing – just enjoy moment by moment. (which I should have been doing anyway... )

That could also be the reason I found myself kissing Flirt last night. I met Flirt through a mutual friend a few years ago, and while we sometimes wind up kissing in the corner of a party, we've never actually "dated".

We discovered through Facebook that we were both taking part in yesterday's SantaCon madness, and by coincidence, found ourselves in the same part of town at the same time. Our groups merged, and we spent the rest of the day (and evening) bar-hopping together. I can't remember when we started kissing -- it just seemed to happen.

Many hours (and drinks) later, my friend Red said she simply couldn't understand why Flirt and I aren't a couple: we're both great people, with similar interests, etc. For one, he's currently living in California -- so there's that. I guess I just never thought of him "that" way. Maybe it was the booze talking, but he and I decided that if / when he moves back to NY, if we're both available, we should give this a shot.

*

Last time I wrote that it seemed the mutual fade-away was happening with Capt Awesome, aka Ralph Furley. I finally decided: we'd been dating for a month -- I DID want some acknowledgment of "us" being no more. I emailed him that it seemed we were on the same page -- that we'd had a nice time, but sometimes these things just don't work out, but I thought he was a lovely person. He wrote back a similar message. I felt satisfied to have that closure.

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Début de l'événement 02.04.2023

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]]> Wed, 02 Apr 2025 13:27:16 +0000 One hundred sixteen
One hundred sixteen

Description Marriage vs. Memories: Can We Declutter and Stay Together?
Marriage Under Stress: Navigating Parenthood and Mental Health
The Silent Strain: How Unspoken Needs Led to a Marriage Crisis
Marriage on the Rocks: Navigating the Challenges of Illness and Expectations
From Disconnect to Connection: Rebuilding Marriage After Fear and Fatigue
Living Together Was So Much Easier Than Being Married
The Ultimate Guide to Successful Online Dating
Smack and Marriage Don’t Mix
Why Dating Feels Like a Game and How to Win at It
How to Date Without Losing Yourself
How to Decide When Relationship Feels Platonic
Is Your Dating History A Dealbreaker?
Ratting Out a Cheater

Last time, I wrote that I was about to go out with a new J-guy. It turned out to be a fabulous date - -and the second one, a week later, was even better. He’s whip-smart – super-funny – incredibly cute. To say I’m very mildly smitten wouldn’t be inaccurate – and from the vibe he’s giving, the feeling seems to be mutual.

I know – whoa, Nelly! Yes, yes, I know – take it slowly, and all that. I certainly am -- or at least, trying. And when he writes to me that he thinks I’m gorgeous and can’t wait to see me again, I’m careful to keep my responses just a bit cooler. I just realized – we’ve e-mailed every single day since that first date, in addition to texts and phone calls sprinkled in there as well. It just feels "right".

Cute Jewess just blogged about this recently – we’ve both had experience with these guys who come on really strong, then fizzle just as quickly. Not to say this new guy will fall into that category – I’m just being cautious, that’s all.

But when someone who seems fabulous also seems to recognize the fabulous in you? Hard not to be a bit seduced by that.

Third date planned for this weekend, then I’m going out of town for work for a week – it’s a good thing to be a bit unavailable, and put the brakes on this for the moment.

I’m having a hard time coming up with a blog name for him! It’s hard to pinpoint just one quality about him. “Mr. Wonderful” could work – but sounds like that’s more of an ironic name for an asshole. Simply “Mr. X”? No – sounds like I’m implying that he is or could be an “ex” – don’t want that! Other references to his great smile, sharp wit, fabulous sense of humor then exclude his other good qualities.

So for now – he’ll simply be 116. (as the 116th first date I’ve had since my last serious relationship) It would be nice if there weren’t any other numbers after that one, wouldn’t it…?

As far as the other guys I’ve smooched lately – I’m not deleting their numbers just yet. We’ve exchanged e-mails, but no solid plans to get together any time soon (I’m too busy anyway). But the fact is, I know that they’re really just smooch-buddies – if there’s been no progression towards relationship-land with any of them by now (the Friend of a Friend… Fun Bobby… Good Hair Guy), then it’s never happening.

But 116? Possible potential. We’ll see.

In the meantime, if you have clever blog name suggestions for a guy who’s adorable, fun, smart, witty, etc – send them my way!
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Début de l'événement 28.03.2022
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]]> Fri, 28 Mar 2025 16:34:53 +0000 Trail by fire basically
Trail by fire basically

Description Marriage vs. Addiction: Winning the Battle for Love
Marriage Without Intimacy: Can Love Survive the Distance?
Holding On or Letting Go: When Addiction Tests a Marriage
The Marriage We Almost Lost: How Unemployment Changed Everything
Marriage And Chaos: Finding Common Ground in Parenting
He Seemed Interested. So Why Didn’t He Call?
Online Dating Isn’t Desperation
Changing Your Dating Approach
Why Modern Dating is More Complicated Than Ever
Dating Someone With Debt
Marriage vs. Parenthood: Life After Having a Baby
The Fine Line Between Casual Dating and Commitment
How to Handle the Truth After Discovering a Betray

So he’s looking at it like “shit, we’re poor as fuck, but that’s good man, we have an easy training ground to learn a skill that all these rich kids aren’t going to learn, and that skill is going to help us own our shit compared to them.”

Now, is his method of going out trying to get called niggers at a racist country bar the SANEST way to go about this? lol, probably not. There are other ways you can learn to stand up to social pressure (check out BradP’s “Social Freedom Exercises”, it’s a program that forces you do put yourself in situations that will socially pressure you, and you escalate it over time and build that ability to not cave to it…also the exercises generally won’t get you killed in an alley outside of a country bar lol).

So I wouldn’t recommend hanging out with the guy much because 1) there’s a decent chance of getting your ass kicked compared to other things you could do, 2) usually guys with his attitude are the types who are also ready to throw down and scrap if something bad went down and I’m not a fighting type at all so I just avoid that kind of vibe entirely because those guys expect me to back them up and I’m like “um no, how about you just don’t get into a fight in the first place like a normal human being, thanks”, and 3) were any of the girls there the type of girls you even WANT? lol A 5 spouting off about nigger dicks? ehhh, I’d rather approach a smokin hot 9 and force myself to handle the social pressure of staring down a gorgeous hottie, you know?

“‘if you can successfully control yourself and — somehow — turn around a situation where people just fucking hate you on principle….what can stop you?’”

lol this is true as a concept. It’s just his execution is a little insane. :) Like you could learn to fight by just picking street fights outside bars every night…or you could go train in a gym fighting with sparring equipment. The end result gets you to a similar point, but one way is a pretty insane way of going about it, and the other is a little more appealing to me, personally.

“I had literally NO CLUE how to fucking handle it.”

lol ya, that was the whole point of it. Trail by fire basically. Thing is down the road when your game is more solid and you’re used to handling group dynamics and shit-tests etc. in GENERAL, you could go back to this place and probably own it like a champ like Ted. But you’re still building on the basics right now lol Like you’re learning the mechanics of how to throw a punch properly, before stepping into the ring to fight.
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Début de l'événement 27.03.2022
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]]> Thu, 27 Mar 2025 16:48:26 +0000 Ms. Nostalgia
Ms. Nostalgia

Description How a Meddling Mother Nearly Ruined My Marriage
How We Rebuilt Our Marriage Through Therapy
Saving a Marriage After an Affair
Can Marriage Survive Infidelity?
Is Your Marriage a Partnership or a Prison?
Keep Him From Walking Out That Door
Managing Expectations in Dating
Why I Believe In Marriage
Dating Advice From Happily Married Couples
The Man or the Money
Walk Away From Parental Control in Relationships
When You’re Stuck in the “Casual Dating” Zone
A Necessary Courtesy or Just Overkill in Online Dating?

It’s taken a while to settle into my non-expatriate life, and blogging hasn’t been on my list of priorities lately. And, quite frankly, I’ve had a hard time finding my blogging mojo.

Words seemed to flow pretty freely for me on the other side of the Atlantic, and now that I’m back in my own country, I guess I’m eager to start anew, and blogging seems to be something that my subconscious associates with my former life as a foreigner in France.

But for your sakes, dear readers, I am determined to overcome this subconscious block.

So to kickstart my new bloggerific life on this side of the Atlantic, I’ve decided to publish a list of all the things I miss about dating in France — all those elusive, intangible things that I took for granted while I was there.

Ready?

Things I miss about dating in France:

…

……

………

………… Nothing.

You know that saying, “The grass is always greener on the other side”?

That’s a load of crap.

The grass is greener on THIS side, folks.

Let’s face it. If you’ve been long-time followers of Man-shopping in Paris, you must be convinced as I that there is nowhere to go but onward and upward from there.

Stay tuned. As soon as I get around to changing the above header to “Man-shopping in DC”, mayhem à la man-shoppeuse will continue to grace your internets.

Make no mistake, I am still as bat-crap mad as ever.

But trust me, I’m also still as delightful as ever, and I am ready to rumble.

The poor american lads will have no idea what’s in store for them.
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Début de l'événement 26.03.2022
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]]> Wed, 26 Mar 2025 16:29:41 +0000 A gift for you my Gems!
A gift for you my Gems!

Description Surviving a Long-Term Affair and Saving a Marriage
Transforming Communication and Parenting in a Troubled Marriage
Healing a Marriage by Confronting Insecurities and Building Trust
Religious Differences and Strengthening Marriage Bonds
The Affection Gap: Bridging Emotional Distance in a Long-Term Marriage
Workplace Dating Detours
When Blind Dates Go Wrong
Comfort Vs. Fulfillment In Modern Dating
Demanding Respect and Openness in a Relationship
Get Outta My Dating Pool
Seeking Clarity and Connection in Dating
Gym Flirting 101
Finding Balance in Love After Loss

Yup I have nicknamed my readers Jewels’ Gems. Deal with it! J

As you all know I am trying to avoid unavailable and unhealthy men...not always easy! Why is it that they are so much yummier than the good, stable, healthy guys? It is one of my biggest problems. There is something about a bad boy that screams "ravage me!" and who am I to argue with that!? Well, I have been anyway. I've been a "good" girl. No inappropriate men in my life.

This has lead to a pretty frustrated Jewels. You may have noticed in the more frequent dirty minded comments on your blogs. Granted this is usually how I am anyway as you probably know if you have read my older blogs or “I’m a dumbass sometimes”.

So, in an attempt to be better behaved when it comes to sleeping with the wrong kind of guys I have turned to innocent and excessive flirting with casual friends, bloggers, and just about anyone unrelated to me. It’s so much fun! As the holiday season approached I was pretty worried that my resolve wouldn’t hold up but surprisingly it has and I couldn’t be prouder.

I’ve avoided all sexting, naughty picture sending, and booty calls. YAY for Jewels. With all the wine and alcohol consumption taking place this is just unheard of!!! In replace of naughty real life behavior I will honor a bit of dare that my lovely blog friend Oilfield Trash threw down in his comments section of his most recent blog post. (Do go read it if you haven’t already!) He asked for naked pictures and I told him I had a whole naughty picture folder. He requested one of me wearing a Greek flag...and I don't have one. I do have a Canadian flag on hand though (which used to hang over my bed...I love hockey that much!) and figured he wouldn't mind the swap out. He offered (jokingly) to send me his email address and me...being tipsy figured...fuck it...I'm posting it! That's right guys!

While this isn’t up to par with Rita’s bedroom photos (I had to make due with a webcam and no makeup) or Hazel’s naughty Santa outfit…it’s the best a girl could do tipsy, snowed in, and without breaking out the naughty outfits. Enjoy my semi-tame salute to my great, dirty minded, intelligent readers! J I really do love you all.

In lieu of a Greek flag and because I love hockey and all things Canadian...
here is me naked in a Canadian flag.

A toast to all my lovely readers....thanks for understanding my drunken posts

and still loving me and possibly loving me more because of them!

Drinking to your health (physical, mental, and sexual-you're welcome).

Cheesy and tipsy blowing you all kisses. JUST kisses Drake!!

Hope you enjoyed my tipsy photo session...and here's to hoping I don't regret it in the morning. Leave me lovely comments to assure me this wasn't stupid! hahaha.
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Début de l'événement 24.03.2022
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]]> Mon, 24 Mar 2025 16:48:52 +0000 Gentlemen, Speak Your Mind!
Gentlemen, Speak Your Mind!

Description He Went to War and Came Back a Changed Man
Unmasking Hidden Unhappiness in Marriage
Workaholic Heartbreak: When Success Costs Your Marriage
Recession Realities: When Financial Stress Tests a Marriage
When Unemployment Tests Marriage
Movies That All Women Should See To Understand Men
Love Lies and Responsibility
The Dating Mishaps of the Ladies of Love Twenty
The Black Male Preference Privilege
Anatomy of a Great (Reality) Relationship
Your Rear End or Your Pride
Why Splitting Costs Isn't Splitting Love
(Broken) Laws of Attraction

One of my best friends, Anna, and I used to have this reoccurring conversation about how we wish guys would be intentional and verbal about their interaction with us rather than lazily going about things.

Anna’s problem was always getting stuck in the unknown—where a guy and her would be best friends, hanging out, talking all the time, but then, when it came down to him actually stepping up to the plate, he never did. This is what I call, “friendlationships”—where you get all of the benefits of a romantic relationship, without having the actual commitment to each other.

You could say that the guys just liked Anna as a friend and nothing more—which is always a possibility, but Anna’s a catch! She’s beautiful, intelligent, athletic, witty, loves sports and she has a killer golf swing. She’s the ultimate ideal girlfriend for any guy—but she would always find herself with these guys who were half-in or couldn't make up their mind.

Anna and I’s reoccurring conversation would always circle around this topic: Why don’t guys just come out and say what they’re thinking? Either, “Hey, I really like you and I’d like to get to know you better,” or “Hey, I’m just not feeling this.”

Sometimes, after a lot of patience, the truth does end up coming out.

But, I’m talking about having verbal confirmation during the beginning stages—that’s where I've noticed the lack of courage.

Talking about what’s going on inside your head really can benefit a situation—either it will save time or enhance your time together. So step up to the plate and let your intentions be known!

Lucky for Anna, her story ends well. She recently made a two-week trip to California to visit some friends. While she was there, she reconnected with a guy who escorted her down the aisle for a friend’s wedding two years ago. The day she left California he gave her a call and said, “Anna, I really like you. I’d love the opportunity to get to know you better.”

It’s only been three weeks since that phone conversation and he’s already asked her to be in a committed relationship. And even though the long-distance relationship
(Nebraska–>California) is going to be hard, I’m really glad she has finally found someone who goes with his gut and speaks his mind. It’s what she’s always wanted!
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Début de l'événement 20.03.2025
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]]> Thu, 20 Mar 2025 16:39:28 +0000 Redefining Roles and Responsibilities: Adapting to Change.
Redefining Roles and Responsibilities: Adapting to Change.

Description He Had an Affair Because I Stopped Initiating Sex
He Makes Me Feel Bad About Being Fat
He Lost Interest in Our Marriage
Saving A Marriage: He Lost His Job
He Lets His Mother Rule Our Lives and I'm Sick of It
Best Dating Websites to Find a Gay Sugar Daddy
Love and Lust: When Chemistry Outruns Endurance
How to Become a Sugar Daddy
Dealing With Your Partner’s Bedroom Confessions
Can His Squalor Be Squelched?
How to Choose a Sugar Baby Website
Conquering Long Distance Dating
Coveting a Coworker

February 13, 2012 at 2:56 pm
I always have to wonder about why unhealthy people (even if they’re recovered) choose to be in a relationship with each other. Birds of a feather? Do former addicts attract each other because they have a kind of “kinship” and “understanding” that the former addict and someone who’s sober wouldn’t have?

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Onlykaylaowens says:
February 13, 2012 at 2:59 pm
Like I said yesterday, there’s really no need to reply to every comment in an attempt to redirect the conversation to you. Seriously. We just got rid of a few people who did that. Stop it. You are over exposed in these threads. You need to cut back on your commenting or I;m just going to moderate you and choose which comments get approved.

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Reply
UGH! says:
February 13, 2012 at 12:18 pm
Hmm, owning a pet shows commitment? It does to the pet. While I admire a dog owner who has taken the time to properly train their dog recent events has caused me to wonder if what you say is true.
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]]> Tue, 18 Mar 2025 17:26:59 +0000 How to Rebuild a Marriage After a Period of Separation
How to Rebuild a Marriage After a Period of Separation

Description He Cheats on Me During Business Trips
He Cheated with a Woman from the Gym
He Dotes On His Son and Ignores Me
He Didn't Know How to Listen to Her
He Flirts Too Much
Marriage Advice: 13 Lessons
Separate Vacations Don’t Have to Mean Divorce
Are Soul Mates Fact or Fiction?
Love vs. Parenthood: When the Perfect Partner Doesn’t Want Kids
Caring for Dad Is Destroying My Marriage
First Date: Who Pays and What It Really Means
Dating a Dad: When You Like Him But Not His Kid

Reply

Mark
March 27, 2012 at 1:21 pm #
” If it’s any 1st date: HE PAYS (all of it)
- If it’s a 2nd date: HE PAYS (all of it)
- If it’s a 3rd date: HE PAYS (Most of it 80%-90%, but pay for something…ANYTHING to help him feel appreciated)
- If it’s the 4th date: HE PAYS, YOU PAY 60-40
- If it’s the 5th: (sorry, courtship dance is OVER) SPLIT THE BILL”

So on the 5th date, men can finally expect equality; but how many women will go on 5 dates with a man? If anything, you just created a loophole which women can and will exploit. If a woman only goes on 2 dates with a man, and then says she lost interest, she will never reach the 3rd date. She can repeat this process on many different men without ever having to spend a dime.

Fortunately, men are waking up to this economically unfair double standard. It won’t be long until even more articles like this are on the internet. Personally, I could not be more thrilled about this issue. It’s time women joined us in the 21st century. Remember ladies: anything I can do, you can do better. Check, please?

Reply

Appalled
January 20, 2012 at 3:23 am #
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]]> Mon, 17 Mar 2025 15:52:06 +0000 The Emotional Toll of Repeated Rejection in Online Dating
The Emotional Toll of Repeated Rejection in Online Dating

Description We’re All Slutty For The Right Guy
Dear Men: This Is Why Loyalty Is So Important To Women
How Do You Avoid Dating a Liberal/Conservative?
Are You Looking For Fast Love Too?
Should You Fake an Active Lifestyle for Love?
When a Relationship Feels Like a Secret Mission
Pushing Through It
Embracing The Unexpected Path Of Singlehood
Why Is It So Hard to Believe Someone Might Stay?
Am I Crazy Or Is He A Hot Mess?

I feel more kinship with other single women — Frisky staff what what!
I’ve seen more of my sisters, my nieces, my nephew and my parents than I have in the whole two years that I was in a relationship. LoveByElenita
I can blog about whatever I want regarding my personal life and no one will ask me to explain it later.
Weekends are for me and my family, not anyone else’s.
The next time I go to the movies, I’m almost decidedly seeing a chick flick.
I wake up when my alarm clock goes off without someone pressuring me to hit snooze and give them a little somethin’-somethin’.
Lipstick, lip gloss and lip balm actually stay on my lips now.
Spending about half as much on coffee, seeing as I’m not offernig to buy it for someone all the time.
Sleeping with my childhood teddy bear again … without shame.
Don’t have to share the iPad (or as we used to call it, “the baby”) with anyone.
Flirting without guilt.
My parents’ dog doesn’t have anyone to embarrass me in front of by trying to hump his leg.
Deepening friendships and making new friends with all my free time.
I don’t have to shower as much.
No one has asked me why I need so many shoes, clothes, books, magazines, or TV shows in the TiVo queue. I just do, OK?
NO FOOTBALL!

One of the more difficult parts of being single is having to field comments and questions from friends and family members who are inexplicably invested in your dating life. One innocuous question in particular can be hurtful, no matter how well-intentioned.

A friend recently vented to me about her personal pet peeve: she hates when she tells a friend about a really great encounter with a guy, and the person responds with “So, when are you seeing him again?”Ah, yes. The dreaded “So when are you seeing him again?” Every single person has encountered it. Every single person has then felt immediately deflated if in fact they don’t have a concrete answer yet.

Instagram: EasyHookups
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]]> Tue, 11 Mar 2025 17:31:49 +0000 when they say no to a married man
when they say no to a married man

Description
asyabahis giriş

Asyabahis giris, spor bahisleri, canlı casino, e-spor ve poker gibi geniş oyun seçenekleri sunan çevrimiçi bir bahis platformudur. Kullanıcılarına yüksek oranlar, çeşitli promosyonlar ve mobil uygulama desteği ile güvenli ve kesintisiz bir oyun deneyimi sağlar.

Jim5 years agoReply
There are people who have a partner who has no interest. Never had any interest.
Are these people supposed to abandon their kids and partner, just to get some?

Most woman, when they say no to a married man, they mean he is not attractive enough to justify the offense.

Just my two cents. 🙂

Loner5 years agoReply
I’ve been married for a decade, and I happen to love Tinder. There’s nothing more inspiring than seeing happy people do things that they love, and learning about new hobbies and vacation destinations!

I’m happy to chat with friendly people as well, as my wife is rather anti-social and introverted, but, as a previous poster noted, I’m old enough to know that sex with one woman is reasonably similar to sex with another one, so I see no reason to endanger my marriage by cheating on my wife, even if she is a bit lazy.

I’ve also known plenty of married women who don’t really care what their husbands do, within reason, and I think that modern ‘merger marriages’ in which the spouses are sexual, emotional, intellectual, and business partners limit the diversity of experiences, and can be quite stultifying.

anon25 years agoReply
This experience is very similar to those my friends have had. There are married men and women on Tinder, but the men seems to be more brazen about it and the women sneakier.
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]]> Tue, 25 Feb 2025 10:26:10 +0000 Can Open Marriages Save Relationships or Destroy Them
Can Open Marriages Save Relationships or Destroy Them

Description I Travel The World. Alone.
An Internal Monologue While Perusing Online Dating Matches
How To Hook Up In A Hostel есть 100 дубликат на frisky
How Do You Know When You’re Ready To Vacation Together?
How To Enjoy Travelling When You’re Not On Your Honeymoon
I Fantasize About Other Men
Why It’s Easier To Meet Men On Vacation есть 100 дубликат на frisky
If You’re 300,000 Miles Away, Don’t Call Your New Man
Will Our Marriage Survive Our First Road Trip Together?
When On Vacation ... Just Say Yes

Your friend has deluded herself into what has all the appearances of a classic swindle. I would not be surprised if your friend loses everything in the not-too-distant future, not to mention potentially being saddled with a large amount of “marital” debt by the time this guy takes off. Even if you were to uncover solid evidence that this guy is just out to take her to the cleaners, it’s unlikely she’d believe it and may end up resenting you for pushing the issue; if he gets wind of it, he will likely try to isolate her from you.

The best you can hope for is to remain supportive; raise concerns as the situation worsens, but don’t push it when she continues in denial; and be ready to pick up the pieces when it all falls apart.

Good luck. You and your friend are going to need it…

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1

Reply

veronica Says:
December 30th, 2012 at 7:22 am
I think you are both simply infatuated. I will like to see what you think after 6 months when you wake up from the state of infatuation and realise that yes, there are most likely many things wrong in your compatibility. I hope for your sake this works out with you guys however, with what you are doing you are leaving very little to look forward for a lifetime together. i wonder whether because you are 32 you feel you just need to commit to someone as soon as possible because otherwise you might be too old to have children or something. How have your previous relationships been?. How well do you know his mood swings?. Do you really know what makes him mad or really happy?. I don’t know, i married a guy at 31 as i felt he was good for me and that we could make it. I felt i was getting old and i should be ready to commit. It turned out to be the worst decision i ever made in my life, even after 2 years i did not really know who he was until i actually made that comittment and he felt sure of himself. He changed more than i could have imagined or really i just did not want to see that there were warnings signs of what he could really be like. be careful of what you are seeing now, try and slow it down if you feel you want to spend the rest of your life with this guy then why rush so much.

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]]> Fri, 21 Feb 2025 10:30:53 +0000 Well-loved.
Well-loved.

Description Why Sex Talk On a First Date Is a Bad Idea
Is He Interested or Just An Attention Whore?
Never Give a Man More Credit Then He’s Earned
Stop Accepting Bad Behavior From Men
When Do You Ask A Guy If Things Are Serious?
Is She Doomed To End Up Alone?
Why The “Hot” People In This Article Aren’t Worth Dating
When You Get Dumped Sometimes You’re To Blame, Too
Never Double Down On A Guy Who Can’t Guarantee He’ll Stick Around
How To Deal With The Push Pull Guy
Who Has More Luck Online – Men or Women?
The Tell Tale Tatt

PeachtreeCtr Says:
January 15th, 2012 at 9:47 pm
Do yourself a favor and post your question to someone who has been in a LTR, not a 45 y.o. permanently single lady. If you want to be in a successful, long term committed relationship, ask someone who is in one and is happy.

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lana Says:
January 16th, 2012 at 12:00 pm
Yes, we all dont have the same experience, and there is a BIG difference between someone who’s idea of a long term relationship is 2 years. There are always red flags, and no relationship is perfect. if you wait for perfect you wait forever. If it feels good, and no warning bells are going off for you, continue the relationship as you feel is best. To end it because he IS ready for an LTR is just silly. Do you know why he may be ready ? Does he come from an intact family and he always thought he’d also start one after 30 ? maybe his time table was always that, and you came in at a good time. :) but there are no guarantees for anyone either way.

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Crotch Rocket Says:
January 17th, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Nice to see you back, Vox. I was concerned that you might have done something drastic after your meltdown a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, your attitude doesn’t seem to have improved any.

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 20 Thumb down 18

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]]> Wed, 19 Feb 2025 10:35:05 +0000 Perspiring Me
Perspiring Me

Description Do You Reveal Too Much About Your Relationship?
Be Yourself: The Truth About Authentic Dating
Why So Many Relationships End at 90 Days
There really are NO BAD DATES!
How The Law of Attraction Can Help You Find Love
A Dude Diner’s Doctrine
Soundtrax To Your Life: Pre-Date Tunes
Ms. Awesome’s Advice for Men
Bad Relationships Aren’t Investments
How To Get A One Nite Stand Out Of Your Apartment

I feel like Ghetto Club is really sweating me lately.

She calls or texts me everyday. I don’t always answer, but when I don’t, I hear about it the next time I talk to her.

She’s always complaining about how I don’t invite her to hang out enough, I don’t call her enough, I don’t respond to her texts, etc.

It’s getting annoying.

Also, some how I’ve become “honey” and “dear”. I don’t know how that happened.

At the same time, when I call her trying to fuck, she balks at the idea. I think she doesn’t want to feel like a booty call or a fuck buddy. The only times I’ve fucked her have been after hanging out with like at a concert or a party or something.

Frustrating.

It’s the nagging and sweating me that’s the most frustrating.

It makes me want to put her on the ignore, don’t talk to list for a few days

I was going to do just that, but then she called me at 2am when I was leaving the club the other night.

I didn’t answer because I was in set at the time, but after that set, I debated whether calling her back or not. I finally did, on some hope that she was calling me on some booty call type shit.

She wasn’t, “You didn’t text me back last night! I just wanted to check up on you!”

I try to go for the booty call.

“No, I can’t! I’m already in bed, sleeping.”

“You’re not sleeping, you’re calling me.”

“No, I really am sleeping, I just called you to check up on you, you didn’t text me back last night and you never called or texted me all day. You went out and didn’t invite me or anything.”

“Whatever, this is booty call time, so you better be talking about a booty call, calling me at this hour.”

“No, I can’t. I can’t leave my house, I’m already home, my mother wouldn’t like me leaving at 2am to go with you, you know I can’t do that.”

“Whatever. Meet me in 20 minutes.”

“No, I can’t. I was just calling to check on you. You should do the gentleman like thing now and tell me goodnight.”

“Now that you said that, I’m not saying it.”

“Goodbye then.”

I hang up on her. I hate that shit. Trying to tell me what to do. ”You should say goodnight to me now.” Fuck that. I would’ve probably said goodnight to her if she didn’t say that.

Doesn’t she realize, I never do shit when she tells me to? You think she’d learn that by now and stop trying.

It really pisses me off though. She’s not being enough of a girl, trying to tell me what to do. Nagging me when I don’t do what she wants. Then not doing what I want. I’m damn near done. My attraction/interest in her is falling fast!

I want to like her, I wanted to try some LTR type of situation, especially to work on my LTR, managing a girl/relationship game, but she’s really turning me off.

I may have to pull a “we need to talk” type of conversation and just letting her know that all this shit she’s been pulling lately is really turning me off. If she doesn’t start acting more like a fucking girl and chill on sweating me so hard, I’m gone.

Not sure how she’ll react to such an ultimatum, but I can’t let her get away with this kind of shit. Just ignoring her to punish her for it doesn’t seem to be working….

She needs to know she’s actually running me off.
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]]> Fri, 31 Jan 2025 10:56:15 +0000 She didn't reply. Should I message her again?
She didn't reply. Should I message her again?

Description Can You Date A Younger Man?
The Qualities Of A Good Make Out Buddy
When Guys Should Pay On A Date And Why
Playing Games When Dating
How to Hit on Someone via Facebook
What Not To Say On A First Date?
Why Hasn't He Called and What Should I Do About It?
Getting Prepped for a First Date
Defriending Your Ex On Facebook

In, "It's All About The Follow Up", Laurie Davis explains that sometimes it's ok to message someone a second time if they haven't replied to you yet. I completely agree. In fact, I have a personal success story about this.

I was on plenty of fish and a cute and interesting girl messaged me first. I replied, but didn't get a response. So, just like the article suggests, I waited a about a week and sent her another message. It said something along the lines of, "Why didn't you reply? You messaged me first".

I'm paraphrasing, of course. I was more diplomatic about it in the real message. But, she replied the second time and explained that my message got lost in the mail. Eventually we started dating. And, it all started because I politely reminded her that I exist.

So, despite the many profiles I see that claim "no reply = no interest", you might as well try. What's the worst that can happen?

Here are some tips to remember when writing a no-reply follow-up:
Don't sound desperate. In other words, don't beg for a reply or look pathetic. It's a turn off.
Don't be angry. It's not a great second impression. I know I've forgotten to reply to an email here and there at work because my inbox gets full. The same thing happens to females on these dating sites. They get 20+ messages a day and by the time they've read the last one, they've forgotten the first.
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]]> Thu, 30 Jan 2025 10:46:55 +0000 A New “Trick” For Getting Women
A New “Trick” For Getting Women

Description Should Single Guys Use Emoticons
Leaving the Ghosts of an Ex Behind
Bitchiness as a Defense Mechanism: Lessons from Blogging About My Ex
Can You be Friends With an Ex?
The Men We Know We Have No Future With…
Men Who Ghost Before the First Date
No Strings Attached is Bullshit.
Do Women Really Want Equality In Relationships?
Your Best Friend the Hag
Why Being Single Doesn’t Suck
Rules For Hanging Out With Your Ex
How to Approach Guys in a Bar
How NOT to Approach A Guy In A Bar
8 Facts about Cheating

We’ve all seen them. We’ve heard all about them. We may have even fallen for their schtick.

Just who exactly who am I speaking about?

The pick-up artists, that’s who.

Sure, it’s compelling, being able to woo some poor nubile damsel in the express lane of your local grocer…or being the one guy to actually succeed in bagging that hot blonde that just suckered 15 of the other schmucks out of their hard earned drinking money.

My question is, who are these guys who teach this stuff, and why is it that almost every one of them teaches gimmicks, trickery, manipulation and a whole lot more of the things that moves the so-called pupil farther and farther from who they really are?

Wouldn’t it be better to just be the very best version of your self, then let that light shine forth?

A little while ago, I happened on a book that teaches Women all sorts of deceptions, little white lies and such..all in the name of bagging a man, then hauling him off to the altar. At first, I thought, how horrible to have such a product teach women to trick us into being with them. Then I was shocked to see that there were just as many books and programs teaching guys to get women.

This discovery got me thinking…Big Time!! Why are men being taught that techniques are the way to attract women?

If so many of these programs exist, then there must be a real need for coaching guys, not to be pick-up artists per se, but rather to have the confidence, poise, and sense of self, so that women will be magnetically drawn to them.

There’s a lot of talk about attraction, self confidence, and women. More often than not, the “guru” shells out some cookie cutter program designed to turn Joe Shy-Guy into Daniel Dynamite at the flick of his magic wand. Usually Joe Shy-Guy ends up more frustrated than ever.

Why do you suppose this is?

Well first of all, not all women find the same things attractive, and let’s not fool ourselves here…there are just gonna be some women that aren’t buying what you’re selling, no matter how good the presentation.

I’ve personally seen world class athletes, singers, movie stars and the like get shut down cold. And who among the weak-at-heart could possibly compare with that kind of readily installed super confidence?

The point I’m making here is that when a man that has done the internal work on himself, His light shines brightly, like a beacon of attraction that women will find unbelievably irresistible.

No lines needed. No trickery. No manipulation. No acting. Nothing but the very best version of yourself!!!!!

We’ve got work to do guys….Let’s dig in.
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]]> Thu, 30 Jan 2025 10:13:40 +0000 The Break-Up
The Break-Up

Description Why girls on dating websites don't know how to have a conversation
Why “we need to talk” should be happening in your relationship
Living With The One You Love
4 Ways To Be Really Rude While Instant Messaging
How Emo Updates Hurt Your Relationship
How Straightforwardness Got Him the Date
How to Keep Long-distance Relationships Alive
How to Find Love in 2025
Is Religion Important When Dating?
Keeping A Romantic Life As A Single Mom
7 Sure-Fire Ways To Get Over A Relationship

So, Saturday night, St. Paddy’s Day…..

GC got drunk as fuck on green beer and Irish Car Bombs. We had to leave the club we were at early and she wound up throwing up in my homeboy’s car. I got my boy to drive us back to my car, so I could take GC home and put her to bed. We were staying with one of GC’s friends, so she hands me her phone so I can call her friend to get her to open the gate for us. We open the gate and get back in the house. GC is hunched over one toilet puking… and I go to the other restroom to take a piss.

I still have GC’s phone in my pocket, but I think nothing of it…. Then it vibrates and beeps. New text message. I look. It’s a dude. Who the fuck is this dude texting my girl this late at night? I think to myself and out of sheer curiosity I look through the text thread.

And I’m shocked…..

It reads like this… they met a couple of weeks ago, presumably at a bar. GC set up a time and place to meet the dude – at a place where I had taken her for one of our first dates. She tells him she has a boyfriend. They meet anyway. The next day the texts read, from GC, “Omg. That wasn’t supposed to happen last night. How is it you still even want to know me knowing I have the capability to be a cheater?” And the dude’s response is “Don’t think of it as a mistake. Sometimes two people are just sexually attracted to each other and things happen.”

I’m fucking floored. I’m standing there in amazement, and anger….

I go back to take care of GC and get her to bed. She’s drunk and passed out now and doesn’t know I’ve seen or know about any of this.

I start to think of my options, I could pack up all of my shit and just leave her here. But, I can’t find my fucking cell phone. Maybe I left it in the backseat of my boy’s car when I was holding my girl’s head while she was drunk and throwing up out of the door.

I pack all of my shit, including the sheets on the bed GC is asleep on, by rolling her drunk ass around and taking the sheets straight out from under her. I pack all of my shit, throw it in the car and just leave.

I drive back to where my homeboy was parked, but his car is gone. Damn.

Then, I just drive around.

Then, I park and chill.

Pissed off as fuck. How could she do such a thing? CHEAT on me? I can’t believe it. I’m sitting there chilling… when her phone rings (I still have hers, since I can’t find mine). It’s her other friends that are staying with us who are downtown drinking. I answer it and I’m an ass to them, make them think they have the wrong number.

They hang up and call back, they’re asking me the address so they can catch a cab. I tell it to them. Then, I figure fuck it, I’m down here I could just take them. So, I tell them I’ll come pick them up and tell them which corner to meet me at.

I meet them at the corner and pick them up. GC’s best friend instantly says, “[Wonka] are you mad?”

I answer candidly, “yeah” but I don’t go into details. I decide to just stay the night, and wake up in the morning and go to brunch with my mom like originally planned. I grab my stuff, including the sheets and pillows I took off of the bed and head back in. I walk into the room we’re staying in and GC is gone. I head over to her friend’s bedroom and she points to the closet.

I open the closet and GC is sitting on the floor looking teary-eyed, “why would you leave me? You took all of your stuff, even the sheets on the bed!”

At this point, I snap, “WELL NEXT TIME YOU’RE DRUNK AND STUPID, MAYBE YOU SHOULD MAKE SURE THE OTHER NIGGA YOU’RE FUCKING DOESN’T TEXT YOU WHEN YOUR BOYFRIEND HAS YOUR PHONE!!”

Her face drops…

One of her friends says, “oh shit, it’s about to get real” and everybody else in the apartment leaves and goes outside. I walk around a bit and then go back and sit down and just look at GC.

“I was going to tell you,” she says, “I was waiting until tomorrow… I wanted to talk about our relationship.”

“Ok.” I say and just look at her.

At this point, the other people have started to wobble back into the apartment. “Can we talk about this some other time, not in front of people?” She asks.

“Yeah…” I say and we leave the room and go into the living room where everybody else is, “Where is the weed?” I ask her friend. I need it. Too much adrenaline and anger flowing through my body for me to ever go to sleep tonight without some kind of sleep aid.

Everybody gathers around on the floor and we smoke a few bowls together… GC lays on her best friend and says, “I’m depressed.”

After a couple of bowls I get up and say I’m going to bed. Say goodnight to the peeps and head to the room. GC follows.

I lay down in the bed and close my eyes. She lays down and wraps her arms around me and kisses me. ”I’m so sorry. Do you hate me?”

I don’t respond.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen. I was drunk.” She says.

“Whatever…” I say and turn away. Tears rolling down my face now. I’m trying to hold them back, but I can’t.

“Baby… I didn’t mean to hurt you. I suck” she says, and gets teary-eyed too. ”It’s just that long distance sucks. I want to be with YOU, but I don’t even feel like I’m with you. I don’t even feel like I matter to you anymore. I just felt so lonely, so I started flirting with guys again. It was just supposed to be flirting. It wasn’t supposed to go that far. I was drunk.”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses.”

“I know. I fucked up. I suck. Do you hate me?”

I turn away… I try not to hit her with too many jabs – no spiteful shit or naming calling – “you whore”, “you slut” – none of that. I just express my disappointment. Tell her that I feel betrayed and that I feel like everything she’s ever told me is bullshit.

She continues with the same old – blaming the situation, saying she didn’t know what I was doing, figured I was probably cheating on her, and continues with the whole “I suck”, “I’m a horrible girlfriend” thing.

We’re both crying. She’s trying to console me, trying to pull me back toward her. I know it’s my last night with her and that in this emotional state, even though I’m not really turned on, I know it’s going to lead toward sex…. but I also feel like I shouldn’t be the one that initiates it – not now, not when I’m blaming her for ruining everything.

Sure enough eventually, she pushes up on me and kisses me on the chest and then goes down until she’s got my whole cock down her throat. She gives me head for awhile and then we fuck again. It’s only okay this time as I’m not as into it as normal. When I feel my climax coming, I pull out and move up to aim for her face.

“Ouch! You got it in my eye!”

I don’t apologize. I just roll over and go to sleep.

We sleep for a few hours and then I wake her up to take a shower, because we still have brunch plans with my parents before I head to the airport. When we’re getting dressed, she asks, “why does my eye hurt?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did you punch me in the eye last night when I was asleep?” she asks.

“No.”

“Look at it, is it all red?”

“Yeah, it looks pretty red.”

“Oh… I know why” She says.

I smile, just now remembering why…

We get dressed and my boy calls. He found my phone in his backseat. We meet up with him and grab it and then head over to meet my parents for breakfast. No emotions, we’re just a regular couple. My parents don’t suspect anything, they don’t even know it’s their last time seeing her.

After brunch we head out. I’m driving, but even the 6 cups of coffee I downed at breakfast aren’t keeping me awake. So, we switch and I let GC drive so I can nap for a bit.

After about a 40 minute nap I wake up and eventually we’re back to talking about our relationship.

“Do you forgive me?” She asks.

“No.” I say.

“So what do you want to do?” she ask.

“About us? We’re over.”

“But I don’t want us to be over. I love you.”

We talk some more, and I drop some real introspective shit. A lot of good one-liners. I wish I could remember them. But, I basically tell her how relationships should work, what the woman’s role is, and that it’s complete bullshit to stray just because you fear the unknown. I keep telling her that she betrayed us, and what we had.

She keeps saying that she sucks, and that she’d understand if I hate her. She says that she’s never cheated before and that she didn’t mean to hurt me.

I hit her with some “So, you’ve never loved anyone as much as you love me, yet I’m the first guy you cheat on? That makes a lot of fucking sense right there.”

She keeps saying that she’s sorry and that she wants to work it out and that we can get passed this. She asks again, “do you forgive me?”

I laugh and say “no.”

I tell her that we’re over, and when we get to the airport and I walk out of the car, she’ll never hear from me again.

She says that we’re not over, that we’ll live in the same city again in the future, I’ll forgive her one day, and we’ll get married and have little zebra children.

We’re almost to the airport and she asks me if I want to stop by her sister’s and see her niece and how big she’s gotten.

“No.” I say.

We get to the airport and she’s asking me if we can please go somewhere to talk, to spend some more time together, “A coffee shop? somewhere?” since my plane doesn’t leave for four hours still.

“No, I have to go.” I say and open my door. ”It was nice knowing you. It was a fun year. Good luck.”

She starts crying and grabs me and buries her head into my chest, “No, baby! Please! Please, we can work through this! I love you! I want to be with you!”

I pry her off of me, and again say, “No, I have to go.”

“You’re going to forgive me!” she says.

“No I won’t.”

“I’m going to call you when you get to [my city], and you’re going to answer!”

“No, I’m not.”

“This isn’t over!”

“Yes, it is.”

I get out of the car and open the trunk and grab my bag and walk into the airport. I know she sits there for a little while, crying.

After I take a piss, I head to my gate. Four fucking hours before my plane leaves – I’ve never been at an airport this early in my whole life. I pull out my phone and delete my recent calls and all my text messages from GC. I open my laptop and delete her and all of her friends from my Facebook.

A couple of hours pass and she sends me four text messages. First, talking about how she wants to work this out and she’s so sorry. Then, she’s saying “you have the option to never talk to me again – please don’t chose that option. Please don’t shut me out.” Then, it’s “can we at least be friends, you mean too much to me for me to not have you in my life at all.” I read the texts and instantly delete them. No reponse.

When I land back in my city I turn on my phone to see two missed calls and a text, “why won’t you answer my calls? Please just talk to me.”

Again, I delete the text and go home and go to bed. Shit is hard though, I’ll be honest. It’s been an emotionally draining ass day and I’m sad and tired, but school starts back up in the morning….. it’s a new day.
Structure organisatrice

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Début de l'événement 24.01.2023
Fin de l'événement 24.01.2023

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]]> Fri, 24 Jan 2025 10:44:02 +0000 What a Life Insurance Company Can Say About Society
What a Life Insurance Company Can Say About Society

Description When Do You Walk Away
It Is All Facebook’s Fault…
How To Be Single at Your 10 Year Reunion
Are One Night Stands Bad?
The Truth About Free Dating Sites
Writing Good Loveawake.com Emails
Taking it Slow vs Taking it Nowhere
26 Things I’ve Learned About Dating
Being Selfish in A Relationship
Signs of a Douchebag
Rules for a Skype Date

I JUST SAW a commercial for life insurance. It began with, “This is Joe. He has a mortgage, a wife, and two kids…” I presume Joe was chosen for his “ideal” life. Or, at least, the ideal that most of us are brought up to have. Joe was chosen because the insurance company knows that most viewers would relate to Joe.

Mortgage. Wife. Two kids. A dog perhaps?

I found it interesting that at around the same age, most of my friends were buying houses, getting married, and having children. How does this happen all at the same time? How is it that so many people are on the same “life schedule”? It can seem like these events are a given. At some point in your life you have to own a house (as much as owning a house means the bank owns the house), get married, and pop out some kids. There must be something wrong with you if you aren’t ticking these off your list.

The single, childless, renter (or traveler) is someone who hasn’t “grown up.” Or who has “screwed up” somehow, somewhere down the line. This is the social norm. What will it take to shake this stigma from society at large? When will it be OK to be at a social function and admit that it was your choice not to have kids, not to get married, not to buy a house?
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Début de l'événement 22.01.2022
Fin de l'événement 22.01.2022

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]]> Wed, 22 Jan 2025 10:20:48 +0000 Playing the Game with Text Pals
Playing the Game with Text Pals

Description A Relationship Evolved (and Happy Birthday To My Ex)
The Unforgettable First Kiss
Jealousy Versus Envy
Love Addict: The Pregnancy Dilemma
How Do You Help Someone Who Doesn’t Want Help?
Most Radical Relationship Books On the Market
We Hold Ourselves Back
What Happens When You Actually In Relationship??
Is a Same-Sex Encounter Important in Living Holistically?
You’re a Selfish Bitch and That’s Why You’re Not Married
Learning How to Love Yourself
Love Addict: Writing the Personal
How Do You Learn to Let Go?

In the age before the internet and cell phones that had texting capabilities there was something called “pen pals”. This was back when people still wrote letters to people, and having a real pen pal was cool. I remember I always wanted one from France so I could practice my poor French skills I learned from watching Canadian Sesame Street. But of course that never happened because I never knew how to get in touch with someone from France in the pre-internet days.

Then…the birth of the internet. I began to find real pen pals across the country. Sure, they were most likely old men stalkers, but hey, I’m still alive now so I guess it all worked out in the end.

Then came the birth of the text message and the next wave of pen pals: TEXT PALS. At first text pals were the friends that lived across the country or too far away to see every day. But soon that turned into what we have today. Text pals are friends that live down the street from us. Text pals are guys we’re dating. Text pals are guys we don’t like. Text pals are exes and/or booty calls.

And let me just tell you. That has turned into an annoying new dating trend: the quasi dating TEXT PAL. In other words, guys who you dated for awhile but who can’t commit to anything more yet don’t want to let you think you’re free yet. They want the option to be able to date other people, but don’t want to have to give you up as an option. So they string you along so that you can’t ever completely move on.

They are out there dating, exploring their options, having sex. And you, the emotional girl is left feeling guilty about dating other guys because twice a week you get a text message from your TEXT PAL.

And here is how his game is played:

Annoying text pal: “hey you, how’s it going?” Point for TP: 15 love.

YOU: “it’s okay, i had a bad day at work. how are you?” Point for YOU: 15 all.

TP: “okay cool, well hope you feel better soon” Point for TP: 30-15.

YOU: WTF? How do I respond to that? So then you end up saying something that requires no response, just so you are the last one to text. Which of course will mean the ball is in his court. “thanks ‘:)’” Point for YOU: 30 all.

And then….

TP: “np” Point for TP: 40-30 and then “:)”

Point for TP and that is game. set. match.

Another example from my girlfriend:

TP: “what are your plans this weekend?” (as an aside, I just have to comment about how evil this one is because we are fully expecting you to plan a date now)

GIRL: “not much, might go out of town on Sunday”

TP: “yeah i’ve been thinking about getting out of town lately”

GIRL: What does this mean? This is clearly not an invite for a date…is he asking to join me on my trip? I better go the safe route. “yeah sometimes LA can be such a drag”

TP: “i hear you”

At this point he has clearly won. And now you are left hanging with this feeling of not knowing what actually took place in that conversation. Did you say something wrong? Why did he text in the first place? Shit! Now he knows I have nothing going on this weekend! Was he just checking up on me? Or was it a “don’t forget I’m here” thing so that you have that on your conscience when you hook up with some random guy this weekend.

Next time, we will be wiser. We are tired of losing every game and it’s our turn to win. Here is the winning strategy:

GIRL: (in response to any text message from TP) ……[insert answer to question here], why, what’s up?

This is how it works:

TP: “hey you still out of town?”

GIRL: “nope, why what’s up?” (notice here that using “nope” instead of “no” is much more whatever, I don’t care type of attitude)

TP: “not much, just hanging out”

GIRL: “cool ‘:)’”

Did you notice that subtle power shift? That means the game is finally YOURS.

And by the way, I am not limiting this to work with guys. This is just from my perspective. So if you guys out there have an annoying girl TP, then this would work in the same way. ;)

Now go play and knock those annoying TEXT PALS out of the game!
Structure organisatrice

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Début de l'événement 16.01.2022
Fin de l'événement 16.01.2022

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]]> Thu, 16 Jan 2025 10:47:42 +0000